2008 Woodie Awards
The Stalker Chronicles
Issue date: 4/25/06 Section: Detour
- Page 1 of 1
As in any other practice, one is ultimately due to experience failure, even in their most expert of fields. I, unfortunately, am no exception to the rule. Every now and then you reach what some would call a bad run, a moment "out of the zone," if you will, and especially in something as unpredictable as stalking, you have to be prepared for some disappointment.
One rainy, early spring evening, my trusted accomplice (let's just call her um… Some Girl) and I were informed of a certain gathering of our beloved stalkees. Our inside source gave us the time and place, and despite previously made time commitments (you know, like class and stuff), Some Girl and I concocted our strategies to slide out just in time to catch the anticipated event. I arrived at the given location and as I approached, I realized … nothing. There was absolutely nothing in front of me, no one around me, and I was beside myself in shock and confusion. A million questions rushed through my mind. Where were they? Was I at the wrong place? At perhaps the wrong time? Or had the completely unexpected happened and we had been duped by our supposedly trusted inside man? To make matters worse, Some Girl was held up and unable to slip out of class, leaving me alone and uncomforted.
Later, when I rendezvoused with my stalking corps to review the events (or lack of) of the day, we learned that the gathering had been pushed later and moved to another locale at the last minute. We cut our losses and moved on.
Days later, Some Girl and I were on our way to our regular stalking - headed to the no-fail place we knew we could hover above our prey - something had to make up for the horrible failure of the stalking mission before. As we approached our destination, a place we were all too familiar with, I stopped speaking mid-sentence in reaction to Some Girls's sudden strange expression, much like the one that had been on my face on that unfortunate day before. I looked around and realized that I was once again facing the same dilemma. Where on earth were our beloved boys? They just had to be here! They were always here! And we most certainly had not been alerted of any changes in the schedule. We were so baffled and unsettled that we lurched into hunt mode and hit every stalking spot we could think of. Alas, we were unsuccessful, and returned disappointed, dejected, out of gas…and with a strangely strong craving for some chocolate cake.
One rainy, early spring evening, my trusted accomplice (let's just call her um… Some Girl) and I were informed of a certain gathering of our beloved stalkees. Our inside source gave us the time and place, and despite previously made time commitments (you know, like class and stuff), Some Girl and I concocted our strategies to slide out just in time to catch the anticipated event. I arrived at the given location and as I approached, I realized … nothing. There was absolutely nothing in front of me, no one around me, and I was beside myself in shock and confusion. A million questions rushed through my mind. Where were they? Was I at the wrong place? At perhaps the wrong time? Or had the completely unexpected happened and we had been duped by our supposedly trusted inside man? To make matters worse, Some Girl was held up and unable to slip out of class, leaving me alone and uncomforted.
Later, when I rendezvoused with my stalking corps to review the events (or lack of) of the day, we learned that the gathering had been pushed later and moved to another locale at the last minute. We cut our losses and moved on.
Days later, Some Girl and I were on our way to our regular stalking - headed to the no-fail place we knew we could hover above our prey - something had to make up for the horrible failure of the stalking mission before. As we approached our destination, a place we were all too familiar with, I stopped speaking mid-sentence in reaction to Some Girls's sudden strange expression, much like the one that had been on my face on that unfortunate day before. I looked around and realized that I was once again facing the same dilemma. Where on earth were our beloved boys? They just had to be here! They were always here! And we most certainly had not been alerted of any changes in the schedule. We were so baffled and unsettled that we lurched into hunt mode and hit every stalking spot we could think of. Alas, we were unsuccessful, and returned disappointed, dejected, out of gas…and with a strangely strong craving for some chocolate cake.