2008 Woodie Awards
Core Curriculum Task Force scratches Seminar from general education requirements
Great Books not so great to read and get in the way of students' 'hobbies'
Max Powers/Man Whose Name You Wanna Touch
Issue date: 3/27/07 Section: Cooligan
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The Collegiate Seminar program is no more. The administration has decided to toss the long-standing program that until now has been a requirement for all Saint Mary's students.
"We decided to listen to the students," commented Dean Vernon Wormer. "So many students complained about it that we figured the program wasn't worth it.
"It's pretty boring to read about all those old dead guys anyway," stated Brother Vantasian Sharkey.
"If you want exposure to these works, just watch the movies; it's basically the same thing," Professor Muriel Finster remarked.
To replace these classes, the college is instituting Nap Time.
"Students here really don't get enough sleep," said Brother Sharkey. "We think that it will benefit them mentally to take a few semesters of Nap Time over the course of their academic careers."
Depending on which section a student takes, a Nap Time course may involve teddy bears, soothing music, or chamomile tea. Students may also register for independent study Nap Time, in which case they can nap on their own time, using their own techniques.
"We believe that this is an innovation which other colleges across the nation will be quick to adopt," said Dean Wormer optimistically.
Many students have applauded this decision.
"Those seminar classes were such a waste of time. I'm pretty sure that critical thinking skills are not going to benefit me after college," said Artie Ziff '08.
In addition to these changes, the college is instituting an M.R.S. degree program.
"We felt that we should make this degree, so often talked about, into a formal program," commented Brother Sharkey.
To earn this degree, a female student must take classes in cooking, cleaning and dating. It will also involve many social events, at which students can attempt to meet potential spouses.
"The hope is that, at graduation time, each student in the program will receive a husband along with her diploma," said Professor Finster.
The college does not currently have plans to offer an equivalent program for males. As a result, some members of this gender have voiced complaints.
"That's unfair. I demand equal rights!" said Neville Flynn '09.
However, numerous other students, particularly females, have expressed positive feedback.
"I'm so excited about the new program. I'm going to change my major right away!" said Samantha Micelli '09.
Gretchen Wieners '10 expressed similar feelings. "I never wanted one of those other majors anyway. I'm glad that now I can spend my years at college focusing on what's important," she remarked.
"We decided to listen to the students," commented Dean Vernon Wormer. "So many students complained about it that we figured the program wasn't worth it.
"It's pretty boring to read about all those old dead guys anyway," stated Brother Vantasian Sharkey.
"If you want exposure to these works, just watch the movies; it's basically the same thing," Professor Muriel Finster remarked.
To replace these classes, the college is instituting Nap Time.
"Students here really don't get enough sleep," said Brother Sharkey. "We think that it will benefit them mentally to take a few semesters of Nap Time over the course of their academic careers."
Depending on which section a student takes, a Nap Time course may involve teddy bears, soothing music, or chamomile tea. Students may also register for independent study Nap Time, in which case they can nap on their own time, using their own techniques.
"We believe that this is an innovation which other colleges across the nation will be quick to adopt," said Dean Wormer optimistically.
Many students have applauded this decision.
"Those seminar classes were such a waste of time. I'm pretty sure that critical thinking skills are not going to benefit me after college," said Artie Ziff '08.
In addition to these changes, the college is instituting an M.R.S. degree program.
"We felt that we should make this degree, so often talked about, into a formal program," commented Brother Sharkey.
To earn this degree, a female student must take classes in cooking, cleaning and dating. It will also involve many social events, at which students can attempt to meet potential spouses.
"The hope is that, at graduation time, each student in the program will receive a husband along with her diploma," said Professor Finster.
The college does not currently have plans to offer an equivalent program for males. As a result, some members of this gender have voiced complaints.
"That's unfair. I demand equal rights!" said Neville Flynn '09.
However, numerous other students, particularly females, have expressed positive feedback.
"I'm so excited about the new program. I'm going to change my major right away!" said Samantha Micelli '09.
Gretchen Wieners '10 expressed similar feelings. "I never wanted one of those other majors anyway. I'm glad that now I can spend my years at college focusing on what's important," she remarked.